Here is a little dab of vintage sexism for your viewing pleasure, or hopefully, displeasure.

I think this is a great video on giving oral sex to a woman. Dr. Joy Davidson is a licensed psychologist and a certified sex therapist.
                                                                                                                                                            


 To learn more about pleasuring your female partner, check out this book by Ian Kerner.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

I just finished reading some of the posts at the apparently defunct blog Ways Women Orgasm Forum, and I was deeply moved by some of the things that the author, Jane, had to say. Probably, because I have experienced some of these issues myself.

She describes herself as “bitterly disappointed when sex did not deliver the easy arousal portrayed in erotic fiction.” In spite, of the fact that she was able to have orgasms during masturbation, she found sex with a partner to be a real challenge and reported that she “never felt anything like the same sexual arousal during sex with a lover.”

I have opened a new store mainly dedicated to books, sex toys, lingerie and moves. Just a few of my favorite things...

              

Here is a video of anthropologist Helen Fisher talking about the science of romantic love. I did a paper on this fascinating subject for my doctoral program, you can check out the link here.  This is another academic paper, like the one I did on FSD.

1. According to David Buss and Cindy Meston in their best-selling book Why Women Have Sex, women who have smaller breasts are more sensitive to erotic stimulation than their more endowed sisters. Plus, breast sensitivity tends to decrease with age in all women.

2. Elizabeth Lloyd author of The Case of the Female Orgasm found that only 15 to 35 percent of women are orgasmic during intercourse without any accompanying clitoral stimulation. She arrived at this figure through analyzing a multitude of studies in the field.

3. The female genitals play a deciding role in allowing paternity. That is, the vagina is not an equal opportunity sperm acceptor but picks and chooses the best man (or sperm) for the job.

It seems that the vagina is a rather hostile place for the little swimmers, kind of like a high stakes obstacle course, and many sperm are either ejected, pulverized by the acidic environment, or simply can't make it to the finish line. Only the ones that are genetically the best fit ever get the brass ring (er...egg).

4. Because of this fact, nature loves variety - particularly sexual variety. That's why in most species of life monogamy is rare. It is not unusual in the animal kingdom for a female to mate with multiple males during her breeding season. That way she gets to sample a variety of sperm and pick the one that is genetically the most compatible with her body. It is mother nature's way of ensuring healthy offspring.

5. Women are more likely to cheat in their early thirties. At that age, fertility is starting to drop. So, to maximize what is left, they cheat (often with a better specimen than what they have at home).

6. The G-spot, which some consider to be the female prostate gland (and some argue doesn't exist at all) is a collection of paraurethral glands that can be stimulated through the upper vaginal wall. For about 66% of women, they surround the urethral glans (which is just at the entrance).

But for some women, they are distributed in a more general pattern along the roof of the vagina. So, in other words, don't assume it's a spot. In some cases, it's more of a zone.

7. Not all women really have a prostate gland (G-spot). For some women, though the paraurethral glands are "technically" there, they are so underdeveloped that they contribute little to sexual pleasure. However, there are many avenues to ecstasy. So, don't fret if your G-spot doesn't seem to do much.                      

8. In a laboratory setting, the record number for female orgasms was 134 in an hour. The most a guy ever had was 16. Sometimes, it's really good to be a girl!

9. Some researchers believe that the the clitoris consists of 18 separate parts; of which, the most visible portion is the tiny button (or glans). The rest of the clitoris is inside the body.


10. When a woman is ovulating (and more likely to conceive), she wears her most revealing clothes. I guess the idea is to show some skin, drum up some interest, and then get laid and make that baby - with an appropriate candidate, of course.

11. The clitoris develops out of the same embryonic material as the penis. It is essentially the same organ from a biological standpoint.

12. Women who are multiorgasmic are not only blessed in terms of sheer numbers, but they seem to orgasm quicker as well. Catherine Blackledge reported that multiorgasmic women typically climax within 8 minutes; whereas, women who are only able to orgasm once take at least 27 minutes.



References

Cindy Meston & David Buss: Why Women Have Sex

Elizabeth Lloyd: The Case of the Female Orgasm

Catherine Blackledge: The Story of V

Rebecca Chalker: The Citoral Truth

David Schmitt: Sociosexuality from Argentina to Zimbabwe: A 48-Nation Study of Sex, Culture, and Strategies of Human Mating

Good video by sex educator Jayme Waxman, author of the book Getting Off, on the various parts of the vulva. She uses a vulva puppet to show how the female anatomy works. Unfortunately, her cat seems a little traumatized at the end. Lol.

A funny from Funny Times on the social dangers of blogging.

I grew up in a home where sex was never discussed. I am 45, and my mother died when I was 24 without ever telling me where babies came from!

I also have absolutely no memories of childhood masturbation. Zip. No humping a pillow, molesting my teddy bear, getting too familiar with the family dog or Kenmore. Nothing.

 I grew up in a small town, and my mother was a fundamentalist Christian. Her mother, my grandmother, seemed pained at the very mention of sex. I was raised with the idea that sex was for marriage only, and apparently you weren't supposed to have any urges prior to that.

If you did you, it was recommended that you pray for God to take them away. I am convinced that my mother never had an orgasm. As I entered adolescence and tried to talk to her about sex, she would say "Just wait, you'll see how over-rated it is".

For those of you who would like to learn more about the issue of female sexual dysfunction from an academic standpoint, here is a link to a paper I wrote in a human sexuality class that I took for my Ph.D. Be forewarned, it is a rather long research paper.

                                       

Here is some man candy for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

 I am a huge fan of Mary Roach. She is the author of the best-selling books Bonk and Stiff. She writes about scientific research in a way that is accessible, surprising, and really funny. In this video, she talks about ten interesting and unusual facts about orgasm.

My friend (let's call her P) left an intriguing message on my voice mail the other day telling me that she had some fun news she wanted to share. I called her back later in the day, and she told me with breathless excitement that she "had been having the best sex of her life!"

That very morning, while I had been blissfully slumbering (I'm a night owl), she had been going at like gangbusters. P, little orgasm machine that she is, cranked out at least three or four toe curlers in quick succession.

Now, I'm sure most of my readers are probably thinking the same thing - a hot stud with a talented tongue and a lot of stamina was plowing my friend's field. Well, her partner may have had a talented tongue and a lot of stamina, but she doesn't know whether he does or not. And probably won't ever. Why you ask?

Because he wasn't in the same room with her. 

All the "mind blowing" sex she was having was on the phone with a guy she doesn't know, never met, and doesn't plan to.

Welcome to the new millennium of sex.

P met him on Facebook, began chatting, and one thing led to another... Next thing you know, she's on the phone with Romeo and her favorite sex toy, the one she calls Sebastian (I have no clue where she got that name), and she's acting out sexual fantasies that she didn't even know she had.

"You must try it", she keeps telling me. "It's the ultimate safe sex". I'm not so sure. My last shot at phone sex sort of sucked. You see, I am very particular in terms of what turns me on, and I don't seem to do well with auditory stimulation. I much prefer my own filthy imagination.

She has found what works for her and that's important. On the phone, she has felt safe enough to engage in behavior that she never had the guts to try in person. For instance, she and one partner acted out  her D/s and lesbian fantasies. In one scenario, her partner created a fantasy for her and told her what to do to herself  as she masturbated (she has sub leanings), while she imagined he was in the room. I suppose the old adage really is true. The most important sex organ really is the brain.

Both of us have been disgusted with the quality of dating life in our area. We are both over 40 and live in a mid-sized city that caters more to families than to singles. Meeting men in real life has been, at times, a real pain. I, personally have been on numerous dating sites and have had many dates that just didn't click or go anywhere. So, I have learned how please myself.  Frankly, I'm a lot better at it than most of the men I've dated.

P found a lot of the men she dated were only interested in short-term hook-ups, and unfortunately, she kept getting attached. This phone sex thing is her way of having sex that is not only physically safe, but emotionally as well. It keeps her from getting attached to inappropriate partners. At the same time, she gets to "socialize" her sexuality.

Research on online sex behavior has found that this is the most common way women use the Internet for sexual purposes. According to a study in The Journal of Sex Research, women are actually more likely than men to engage in cyber sex chatting, in fact, they are over-represented in most chat room. Men, on the other hand, still like to look at porn.

Some would argue that this isn't really sex because there's no intercourse between a man and a woman. I say that's bullshit. Sex is more than just a penis in a vagina. Much more. From birth, we are all sexual creatures. According to Mary Roach in her hilarious book Bonk, scientists have even found fetuses masturbating in the womb.

So, I say whatever floats your boat. I am happy that P is having fun. Currently, I am having fun with my own solo sex life. Maybe, one day I'll get more sociable and give phone sex another try or find a partner that floats my boat. Either way, I'm okay.

I found this adorable "fluffy pussy purse" at Yoni.com, a website dedicated to all things yoni, including vulva related gift items. This purse is meant to represent a vulva and features a little clitoris as part of the clasp.

Serious

Well, after my experience with "smiley man" Smile, Baby Smile: And While You're At, it Bring Me a Beer, I posted the incident on Dodson and Ross and got a lot of confirming feedback. I hate it when strange men tell me to smile, and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one.

Anyway, I was still interested in gender differences in regards to smiling, when I came across this OkCupid tutorial on how to pick up more dates online. OkCupid is an free online dating site for singles, in case you didn't know. While they recommend that women smile directly into the camera or look "flirty-faced" (whatever that means), men do better (i.e., pick-up more dates) when they look away from the camera and don't smile. Very interesting.

Flirty-faced

Women, according to OkCupid, are more than 50% more likely to smile than men in their online photos. Plus, we look "flirty-faced" four times more often than they do. God forbid, a woman look away from the camera. You'll never get married or even laid, it seems.

I was very curious about the women's preferences for non-smiling men. My first thought was something I read in David Buss's Evolution of Desire - that women have an outstanding preference for men who are industrious, hard-working, and studious. It could be that not smiling makes a man look more serious and hence, less of a player. If he is looking away, he appears lost in thought - like he might be planning some big merger or something.

Of course, Buss, like most evolutionary psychologists, ascribes these female preferences to our supposedly  more long-range mating plans (i.e., we don't want to waste our few eggs on a shmuck - so, we look for men who are more likely to commit). That may be so to a certain extent, but I think another explanation might also be true.

Men hold the purse strings. Still do. Always have.

Traditionally, in order for a woman to ensure a decent standard of living for herself and her children, she needed a man who had money and was trustworthy. So, we picked serious lads, who wouldn't leave us "with child sans money". As for men, I think the traditional idea was to find a fetching, fertile mate who wouldn't be a lot of trouble. This still seems to be the case. Whenever I go online, I find a lot of men looking for younger mates, cuter mates, and "drama free" mates. So, we women fake smiles and orgasms in order to survive.

There has been some progress in the last few decades. In February 2010, The New York Times reported that for the first time in history there were more women than men men in the workforce. Economic equality between men and women? Now, that is something to smile about.

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